10 Ways You Can Teach Your Kids To Think For Themselves

Teaching your kids to think for themselves is essential, especially at a young age. According to studies, most adults who develop a sense of responsibility and self-assurance are children who were encouraged to express themselves by being taught how to think for themselves when they were young.

Every parent who wants to raise their children to be confident and intelligent must encourage them to develop their capacity for independent thought.

So, in this guide, we will share some tried-and-true techniques for teaching your children to think for themselves, form positive life attitudes, and eventually mature into successful and enlightened individuals.

How To Teach Kids To Be Independent Thinkers

10 Ways You Can Teach Your Kids To Think For Themselves
Credit: Hammarby Studios/iStockphoto

1. Challenge Their Tender Minds Through Questions

One of the finest methods to get your kids to think for themselves is to ask challenging and mind-bending questions.

Sometimes, attempt to question them why they are choosing that course of action rather than just letting them make decisions on their own. 

Ask them their ideas on many topics, and even after they’ve responded, attempt to find out the reasoning behind their choice of response.

This will encourage them to think more carefully and rationally about their actions before acting on them.

Give them fictitious situations to navigate as practice, and ask them why they might respond a specific way to questions so you can assist them through the process. Encourage them to ask questions about everything. 

You could even pick their brains by letting them know that only some of the information they are given is accurate to give them the confidence to look for solutions independently.

They can then think independently and differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information.

2. Communicate Softly 

Talking to children gently is one of the best ways to encourage independent thinking. Kids learn to debate facts and share viewpoints constantly when they know you’re a haven for them and are always welcome to come to talk to you. 

The more you calmly speak to them, the more likely your child will engage in active listening. A child who listens actively will develop independent thought and the ability to listen to others. 

3. Always Listen Before Speaking

By just offering guidance after hearing what they say and their sense of direction, you can help your child fulfill their need to develop some degree of autonomy.

As children age, it becomes increasingly crucial to learn how to truly listen to your child instead of making decisions for them.

To help children learn to make their judgments and build valuable confidence, parents must progressively relax their control over them.

This could be challenging because a parent’s natural inclination could be to step in and save the day with some advice.

However, you won’t do them any favors if you impede your child’s process. They will learn and develop in that way.

Prioritizing listening over speaking is essential to help someone gain confidence and develop their capacity for independent thought.

4. Encourage Them To Try Something New

Children enjoy being children and staying in their familiar surroundings. However, to encourage them to think independently, you must make sure that you push them to complete the challenging chores and always urge them to try something new without fear or favor.

No parent wants their child to be 40 and still struggle to leave their comfort zone and attempt something new. 

Although Certain things may seem like something other than an apparent ability for the twenty-first century, it’s still crucial to encourage your children to push themselves beyond their comfort zones.

They will be more inclined to try whatever new thing is required of them if they can write a poem or join a sports team at school. But on the other hand, teenage children who are uptight and fearful will never succeed as adults.

5. Teach Them That Failures And Mistakes Are Part Of Life

You must teach your children that this is just a normal phenomenon of life and that everyone experiences failures in one aspect of their lives.

You must also teach your children that their mistakes do not define them and that they must keep trying rather than giving up after the first trial. 

It takes guts to speak up and take risks, so it’s crucial to give kids the understanding that even if their thought process doesn’t result in choices or actions that are successful every time, the key thing is to learn from their mistakes and become better, more educated decision-makers in the future.

In the end, children shouldn’t be afraid to think for themselves out of concern that they might make a wrong choice; instead, they should learn that trying out ideas is a process and that failures will only help them make better choices later in life.

6. Let Them Take The Lead 

You can place the circle in the appropriate slot if your toddler has problems using a form sorter. But before you do that, think about what’s more crucial to you right now: reducing their annoyance or imparting to them problem-solving abilities.

It will help children navigate the world independently if parents can get into the habit of stepping aside and letting their children figure things out, even when they are infants.

But it can be difficult because a parent’s natural inclination might be to step in and save the day with a bit of “simple” advice.

However, if you interfere with their process, you won’t be doing your child any favors. Instead, they will develop and learn in that manner.

Giving your child the confidence and skills to tackle their difficulties is your responsibility, not fixing all their problems.

The secret is to stand aside and give them time to consider the issue. This may later translate to allowing them to develop their independent thought.

7. Encourage Them To Make Their Own Decisions

Contrary to what might seem, while making decisions for your children would make their lives easier, you could not encourage their independence.

Many kids may even scream and act out to make their parents tired and help them finish their work rather than them delving into the problem and coming up with the answers on their own.

Encourage kids to accept responsibility for their actions in all facets of life and recognize that their decisions affect how their lives will pan out.

8. Teach Them Boundaries

Setting and upholding polite limits for your children is essential to raising them to be independent thinkers.

Additionally, you might have to knock before you enter their rooms or forbid them from using their phones until a certain hour. When they become adults, this will assist them in developing greater responsibility.

Children who understand boundaries will undoubtedly become more self-assured and independent thinkers as they mature.

Discuss why you refuse to let them do something and set boundaries to keep them safe. rather than just stating, “No, you can’t watch that show.” Fit it to the justification.

It follows that you must impart moral discernment skills to your children if you want them to leave the nest and be able to distinguish between right and wrong.

For example, you may watch one episode with them and then discuss why you don’t think it’s appropriate to surround yourself with that content. If they do end up agreeing with you, you could be startled.

9. Make Them Know That Not Everyone Will Love And Appreciate Them

When children develop the idea that everyone must adore and value them, it limits their capacity for independent thought since they are constantly subjected to people’s disparaging remarks, which is unhealthy for their emotional and mental well-being.

Learn to constantly remind them that not everyone will appreciate them or their work. While that’s okay, they shouldn’t take criticism personally because doing so will prevent them from developing into their best self. 

Teach them to accept criticism well and always utilize it to improve themselves. Teach children to stand out from the crowd, but remember that this does not guarantee they will always be welcomed by it.

10. Always Lead By Example

Last but not least, always provide a good example for your children. Children learn by watching their parents, so if you want them to learn to think for themselves, make sure you develop those traits in yourself.

As they watch you demonstrate virtues like patience, confidence, etc., they pick it up and develop similarly. 

Be an example of prudent decision-making and be honest about your justifications and thought processes.

Even when your children are young, you can explain your decision-making process to them to ensure they understand why you act the way you do.

As children age, this openness might extend to discussions about family values and chores, money matters, and social circumstances.

It doesn’t mean you’re forcing your children to believe like you do if they watch how and why you make certain judgments. Simply said, it means you’re letting people see and comprehend how you came to your conclusions.


Parents should understand that teaching their kids how to think for themselves will help them develop invaluable life skills that’ll serve them throughout the uncertainty of life.

In a world like ours, people who can’t think independently will be at the mercy of life’s struggles.

I can tell right off the bat that you don’t want to put your kid in that position, which is precisely why you should start now to encourage them to ask questions, teach them how to be active listeners and develop problem-solving skills.

Lastly, it takes time and effort to develop your kids into independent thinkers but with the proper support and guidance, you can do it, and life will reward you immensely.

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